As any nurse knows, EKG leads can be a bit of a pain.
Of course, I'm grateful for what they can tell us, but those boogers just don't want to cooperate sometimes.
In the NICU, we change out a baby's leads when he or she gets a soap bath (roughly every three days), but I'll be darned if a new set doesn't immediately start pulling away from their skin and stick to something--the blanket, the isolette, anything!--other than the baby. I have literally spent entire shifts periodically peeling the same set of leads off of various items in the bed so that the monitor won't read "X" or a flatline.
Whatever the case, sometimes, they just won't stick.
Now when I was a kid, stickers were kind of a big deal. My older sister and I had books of stickers we had collected--sparkly, gel-filled, scratch-and-sniff.
To me, stickers were so cool. I just couldn't get enough.
In fact, one of my favorite books growing up revolved around the concept of stickers.
It was called You Are Special by Max Lucado.
I never actually owned the book, but it was available in our church bookstore, and I loved to sit on the floor and read it over and over.
It's a story about a group of wooden people called Wemmicks. Each Wemmick owns a box of stickers--some are gold stars and some are gray dots--and they dole them out to each other as they see fit.
Pretty, talented, "special" Wemmicks are adorned with gold star stickers. Ugly, clumsy, untalented Wemmicks are marred with gray dots.
Punchinello is shrouded in shame as he walks around covered in nothing but gray dots. He longs to feel like he's worth something.
And then he meets Lucia, a Wemmick with no stickers at all. Like the EKG leads on a wiggly NICU baby, it's not that people haven't tried to sticker her. The stickers just won't stick.
She confides in Punchinello that the reason for her sticker-less complexion is due to her visits with Eli, woodcarver and creator of the Wemmicks. As Punchinello discovers, Eli treasures each of his creations, and when they start to rely on his approval, the stickers lose any ability to cling to the wearer.
My favorite part was the ending, in which Punchinello leaves Eli's shop, pondering and beginning to believe that Eli truly loves him, causing a gray dot to tumble hopelessly to the ground.
I care a lot about what other people think of me, and I wish it wasn't so. The "stickers" of other people's opinions matter (unfortunately) more than they will probably ever know.
The "stars" of shining approval let me know what I'm doing right.
The "dots" of criticism help me know what to change.
Because deep down, I just want to feel like I'm something special.
While the story is refreshing because it means that I don't have to meet everyone else's expectations (worst of all my own), isn't it funny that it's not just the dots that won't stick.
When you look to the Father for your worth, the stars can't stick either.
They'll fall.
And yet, what am I tempted to do?
As the song goes...
Catch a falling star and put it in my pocket,
Never let it fade away.
Catch a falling star and put it in my pocket,
Save it for a rainy day.
It's not hard to say goodbye to the dots. But boy, is it ever hard to let the stars fall without hiding them away in my pocket to save when I feel less than good enough.
The truth is, even though I know that my worth should only come from who I am in the Lord, and even though I know that His opinion is the only one that matters, those stars have come to mean everything to me.
What is so wrong with keeping the stars? Is it wrong to enjoy a compliment?
Why don't you ask yourself why you want it so badly. Why you crave it. Why you've convinced yourself that you need the approval of others.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel special.
There is everything wrong with allowing the world to decide if you are.
In fact, though it seems contrary, the stars might just be more dangerous than the dots. Along with boosting your self-esteem, they inflate your ego and fill your glass with a deluded cocktail that leaves you thinking that you don't need Him to be great.
You do.
And it's so easy to forget that when you aren't spending time in His shop.
Where He can remind you of how loved you are.
How He knew you before you were formed.
How He knit you together with a specific purpose in mind.
How you were worth dying for.
Those are the things that make you special.
Don't catch those falling stars.
Don't put them in your pocket.
Don't save them for a rainy day.
You don't need 'em.
"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." ~ Galatians 1:10
