We are still here, friends!
The Prelude to a Pit series wiped everything clean from my soul, and I have felt a need to be silent about my divorce since then.
Maybe sometime in the near future, God will allow me to share what He has continued to teach me about endurance and worry and patience and getting back up when you've let the demon of doubt grab you by the ankles.
The response to the series and "And the Bottom Drops Out" far exceeded my wildest expectations. Not only did so many of you reach out to me personally in solidarity and empathy, but it allowed my story of God's great faithfulness to reach more than 1500 people. I'm so blessed and humbled to have had such compassion and support and prayers (some from people I have neither met or known of before!) wrapping me and Harlow up in this tough time.
I extend a thousand warm thanks to everyone who showed up on here and read. I hope God blessed you with hope and promises as much as He has blessed me for the past (almost) seven months.
Each one of you is immeasurably appreciated.
To give you an update on the lighter side of our lives...
We have been living and learning and laughing and growing and having an amazing spring.
I love learning what she loves. Like bubbles...
And lip gloss...
And reading...
And DEFINITELY some chocolate ice cream.
We've been sans the grandparents for ten whole days while they've lived it up in California and Texas (to see my new absolutely scrumptious little niece, whom I can't wait to snuggle and smother with kisses when my sister can finally bring her to Tennessee!).
So we turned it into a "staycation."
It has involved those warm walks in the sunshine we've always loved...
And feeding some delightful hungry ducks...
She got her first pedicure...
And got to be a superhero for a day.
(And dear old mom got a night out to dinner with some beautiful ladies:-)
More than anything, I know I'm a day late and a dollar short...
But I wanted to cover all of the mamas, mamas-to-be, and almost mamas with extra love as we honored Mother's Day yesterday.
Today would have been my very first due date, if I hadn't miscarried Eli, and I always pause to think of him and Sarah and all of the brokenhearted mothers who find these sorts of days difficult to swallow.
I remember how hard it was, and you are on my heart tonight. The hole that a baby leaves will never completely close or be filled by anyone or anything else, but rest assured, healing is going to come. God delicately led me through that valley, and I am proud, not that I have forgotten what precious souls once lived in my tummy, but to have seen the redeeming hand of God at work in my life. I no longer feel that pain, and I can smile at that hard part of my past knowing what beauty God had ordained in my future of being Harlow's mommy.
Sweet Harlow,
You are smart as a whip and like a lovely breeze on a warm afternoon. You are full of life and energy, and that smile--it really never leaves your face.
You will be two in just a few short weeks, and I can hardly catch my breath as the days go by so quickly. I find myself wishing time would slow down because I fear I'll never be able to soak up all of the sweetness your little body radiates. You are free and wild and one-of-a-kind, and I thank God every day that He picked me (me!!) to be your mommy.
You are infinitely loved and cherished. Thank you for digging in and holding on nearly three years ago and making me a mommy the following June.
God's got big plans for you, sweet girl.
All my love,
Xoxoxoxox Mommy
And to MY "mama"...
You have taken me in and cared for me like no one else could these last several months. You've cried with me and laughed with me and prayed with me. You've toughed the dark days and celebrated the wonderful days with me. You "triaged the trauma patient," fed me, and loved me like only a mama can. There will never be a way I can thank you for everything you have done for me and Harlow, but I am sure going to try!
Nanny would be proud.
Much much love,
Chels
