My Giant

I stand so small beside him, like an ant beneath a boulder.  The battle has not yet begun, but it seems as though victory has already been assigned.  There's no way I can win.

He's nine feet of confidence with an armor of lies and swords of doubt.

And me?  I'm five-foot-nothing with rattletrap knees and a penchant to flee.  Not a stitch of armor; not a quiver or an arrow in sight.  Just this measly little rock entrenched in the clamminess of my unsteady hand.

He's my giant, for sure.  And for me, Goliath, thy name is insecurity.

I meet him daily on the battleground of life, and even on the days when my chest swells with extra heart and determination, he zings me with the taunts he knows will wallop me below the belt.

You're so stupid.  You'll never be great at your job.

Look at you!  You're a mess!  Your hair, your face, your body!  Nobody wants you!

You're just not good enough, and you never will be.

And I do the worst thing possible when these jeers start flying:

I listen.  And take them to heart.  And I tell myself that's who I really am.

It's been probably my biggest internal struggle for quite some time now--that quest for greatness and confidence that's continually shattered by a world that sets unrealistic expectations and external voices of criticism.  And it isn't until I started listening to those ridicules and replacing my internal tapes of self-talk with such digs that I somehow lost who I am.

Who am I?  Mediocre and defeated.

And it becomes nearly impossible to do anything without fearing failure or what others might think.

I know I don't stand alone in this, even if we stand in few numbers.  And so, this post is for you--real talk for the Davids battling the insecurity giants.

Never do I feel like I have the answers when I post, but I especially feel like I come up short on this subject because I'm just not there yet.  I haven't figured out how to live my life in a way that it isn't solely seeking out how to avoid criticism or imperfection.

And so, all I can do is tell you what my heart knows, which is what my hands and feet have yet to figure out.

Just like David selected five smooth stones from the river as his weapons for battling Goliath, here are five stones to pack in your slingshot to face the war on insecurity.

Stone #1:  You are who you are.  You were made just the way you are for a purpose.  You were crafted with great care and exuberant love by a Master Artist who makes no mistakes, only variety.  No matter what you lack--real or perceived--you were created to be you and not anyone else.

Stone #2:  You are beautiful.  I doubt you hear it enough, but you are!  No matter what ideals of curvy or thin or blonde or brunette are perpetuated in the millions of media outlets you encounter every day, there is no such thing as only one kind of beautiful.  There is something (probably lots of things!) that makes you beautiful, and you owe it to yourself to discover what that is and embrace it.  But most importantly, never forget that the kind of person you are is the only kind of beauty that matters, so you would do well to invest your energy on your heart rather than on your looks.

Stone #3:  Other people are out of your control.  Their thoughts, feelings, and opinions about you are not in your hands, so let them go.  There is no way to please or be liked by everyone.  That's just the way it is, and there is no point in wasting your life trying to win their approval.  Their approval doesn't matter--no one's does!  The Lord's approval is paramount; live your life in a way that seeks to please Him.

Stone #4:  Learn to spot the lies.  We get sucked into the notion that what we can or can't do is what decides who we are, and when we inevitably fail at something, it means that we aren't good enough.  These are lies concocted by the Enemy, and when you start to believe them, he's got you.  You'll end up squandering your time and energy on faulty fundamentals and letting him win.

Even though David had five stones, he only used one to fell Goliath.  And when we can collect these stones of truth and tuck them securely in our hearts, we need only one weapon to defend ourselves:

Stone #5:  A Solid Rock is on your side.  You are precious and priceless because you belong to the Lord, and no amount of mediocrity or criticism or failed attempts can take that away from you.  You are loved immeasurably by a Savior who would give His all for you.

And that, my friend, is a stone worth hanging onto.

You've got a giant in your face and lies in your ears.  But what he doesn't realize is that he's not fooling you.

You've got a Rock.  And you're not afraid to use it.

"So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand, he struck down the Philistine and killed him."  ~1 Samuel 17: 50