Free People: Aren’t Easily Offended

"He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool." - Brigham Young

Freedom requires thick skin.

Have you ever touched actual thin skin?  I've seen some of the thinnest skin possible in my career because I work with babies born as prematurely as 23 and 24 weeks gestation.  I'm convinced the only reason I was able to get my first IV start ever as a new nurse was because of my one-pounder's transparent skin--I could see every running network of every vein he had.  All NICU nurses know that if you have to start an IV, you want a baby with thinner skin because it's easier to get access to them--it's a little like having a permanent X-ray.  If they are born early enough, their skin is even gelatinous.  They can't protect themselves from heat loss.  The most dreadful IV attempts happen with full-term, fully-padded babies with dense, dry skin.  You often can't see any veins at all (a "blind stick" is the worst), and even if you can see their vessels, their thick skin makes accessing and cannulating their veins virtually impossible at times.

So consider your own "skin"--is it immature and thin?  Does your sensitivity to even the slightest offenses read like a permanent X-ray of weakness?  Does it take one tiny stick to access all of the inner-workings of who you are?  Are you an "easy stick?"

Or do you make the people poking at you really work for it?  Are you padded with self-confidence and a sense of humor?  Are offenders forced to try their hand at you from multiple angles to get at you--only to have them give up?  Are you a "tough stick?"

May we all learn the freedom of beinginaccessible to the snap of a snarky comment.

And while physical harm is cause for revolt, if the only thing that stands to get hurt from an action is your feelings, I hope you reevaluate the need to suckle upon it like the nourishment for a newborn baby.

Free people don't go out of their way to experience offense.

I don't know many of us who haven't seen the circulating YouTube video of the pastor sharing the story of a man who shrugged off an offense with the statement, "I can afford it."  If you have the time, Google it for a heartwarming anecdote.  Otherwise, I'll break down the bottom line for you here: when your worth and happiness don't depend on the actions of others, you can afford to take the "hit" of an offensive remark made toward you.

Not all stinging commentary is an insult.  Is it true?  Own up to it and fix it.  Is it an assumption?  Correct it loudly by living differently.  Is it funny?  Learn to laugh at yourself.

And if it's clearly intended to be an insult?  For the love of all that is holy on heaven and earth, just ignore it.  Retaliating or snapping back is only evidence that you've let them tap a vein.

What if we stopped scavenging through intentions and inflections for hidden assaults...

...and just let words linger in the air?

What if we stopped taking nastiness seriously?

So what if people try to be mean?  So what if they don't mean to be mean and end up being mean?

Hide your veins and fatten your skin with freedom.  Don't go looking for offense, and if it finds you anyway, be free to tell it to get lost.

So long, thin skin.

Hello, freedom.