A Little Give and Take

It was a sunny morning at the end of a grueling semester in nursing school. Still wiping the sleep from my eyes, I trudged over to my student mailbox, as I would any other morning.

Smith... Smith... Smith! There I was.

I opened the folder looking for old papers that might have been graded, take home tests, homework.

But...what was this?

A curious packet sat regally amidst my pharmacology essay and my Mental Health assignment.

It was a notice that I had received a scholarship. A big scholarship.

I tried to knock the sleep from my brain as I stared wide-eyed at the acceptance letter. A smile crept across my lips, and I fumbled for my cell phone to let my parents (who were footing the bill for my college education) in on the good news.

"Mom!" I exclaimed. "You're never going to believe this! I got a scholarship! A big one!" She squealed with delight as I dished the details.

"And the funny thing is, I don't even remember applying for it!"

Well, that's because I hadn't.

It had my name on it, all right. But there was another nursing student by the name of Chelsea Smith.

And the scholarship was meant for her.

Yuck.

My spirit crashed as quickly as it had soared when I realized what had happened. I messaged the other Chelsea Smith to give her the good news before sitting down to write a furious email to the people who hadn't bothered to make sure they were giving the scholarship to the right girl. I believe I said something along the lines that the "5 rights" should have been applied in this situation, much as it should in a hospital setting.

But how could I be mad, right? Yes, the scholarship was in my name. And it was in my hands.

But did it ever really belong to me?

Life is full of this sort of stuff. A little give. A little take. It often seems that as soon as a good thing occurs, something terrible is on its heels, and we're left feeling robbed. Neglected. Poor.

Let's journey back to the book of Job for a little more exploration on this subject, shall we? (I told you this would happen :))

As I shared with you last time, Job was a good man, and so God gave. And gave. And gave.

Satan enters with a proposition, and God allows him to take. And take. And take.

Job was literally left with no one. Nothing. Well, excpet for his wife--and she's quite a winner. (I'm wondering if leaving her alive was perhaps the worst torture Satan could afflict on him. Yeesh. But I digress...)

He had, and then he had not.

And again, when his oh-so-wonderful wife tells him to curse God and die, how does he respond?

"The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord! Shall we receive good at the hand of God and not receive evil?"

I don't know about you, but this is hardly how I feel when something I cherish is ripped from my grasp. If it's ever been in my hands, then it's mine. I want it. I need it. And you can't have it back.

I think we can get into an interesting conversation here about whether God actually takes away the good things in our lives. I read a blog recently that said she felt that the notion of "God gives and takes away" is rubbish because "God would never want His children to hurt."

Something needs to be made very clear, though. God is not your magic genie who is only on stand-by to grant you your wishes. He isn't a waiter who brings you items as you please.

He's not concerned with your gratification. He's concerned with your growth.

And He very well will allow a subtraction from our possessions if it means that we will forsake a life of comfort for a deeper connection with Him.

He doesn't remove things to be mean or spiteful. Certainly, there are consequences for poor decisions, but I don't believe God allows miscarriage or cancer or death because He wants to make you upset.

He doesn't want you to hurt, but He wants your heart. And unfortunately, sometimes the hurt is what it takes to get your heart.

He wants you. All of you. He never says that a life with Him will be simple. It's not supposed to be.

But He promises that He'll be with you. That you won't be alone. And He promises that He won't quit until this work in you is finished.

I don't know why God allowed the passing of Maria Chapman or Audrey Caroline Smith. I don't know why He allowed the passing of Eli and Sarah.

But I know that God is good. So good. And I know that He's up to something greater.

So, please. Take a good look around you. Your home. Your spouse. Your family. Your children. Your job.

Everything.

Yes, they may have your name on them. They may be in your hands. But just like that scholarship, they don't really belong to you.

Loosen your grasp and believe.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.